Today is my eldest son’s birthday. He came into the world and changed everything for me, even more than things had already changed when I married. Of course, if you are in the family way as the older folks used to say when the word pregnant was not quite accepted in mixed company, you have to know that sooner or later (and you generally hope sooner) that baby is going to be born and make you a mother. As you may be able to tell from the picture, I was very young. Still in high school when I married. Only seventeen when my son was born. But age doesn’t make a mother. It may make a more mature mother, but a baby makes a mother.
I loved my son from the very first moment I knew he was growing inside me. I didn’t know then he’d be a boy. That was way before the machines that let couples know boy or girl long before they hold the baby in their arms. Then a mother and father had to wait until the doctor said those sweet words, “It’s a boy” or “It’s a girl” as you heard the first warbling cry of your baby.
But while I was ready to hold my baby, I do remember trepidation at the thought of the birthing. I didn’t know what to expect and I was scared of that unknown. When the first labor pains started, I went to my doctor who told me to wait awhile before heading for the hospital. First babies take a while, he said. But he was pretty sure my time had come. So I waited with no idea of how to judge when that right time to go would be. Thank goodness my mother was with us to give advice and with my husband worrying more with each minute that passed, we finally headed to the hospital. I didn’t really want to go. At that point, I was ready to back out or at least wait till morning. But one thing sure, you can’t back out of having a baby or put it off forever.
At the hospital, I went through all the indignities they inflicted on laboring moms then from an enema to shaving places you’d rather they didn’t. All while having contractions. Then they left me alone. Completely and totally alone. That was before hospitals became family friendly. Dads and other family members had to wait out in a waiting room. I was in a dim room all by myself. To deal with the ever increasing pain, I counted the holes in the ceiling tiles, but I had no idea how much pain was the critical level that meant the baby was coming now. Nobody checked on me. They, including my doctor, thought it would be morning before my baby came.
Finally a woman, I suppose a nurse assistant, came into the room and sauntered over to look out the window. She didn’t examine me, but did ask how I was doing. I told her the pains weren’t stopping. Suddenly three or four nurses were surrounding me, checking me out, telling me not to push, putting some kind of gas mask on my face, telling me to take deep breaths. Not ready to deliver that baby themselves. When I woke up in the delivery room, the doctor was there. I guess they got him out of bed and he hustled to the hospital. The baby was fine. A boy. I was fine. A mama. I still remember my first look at him. He was crying, not happy with the rude bright lights of the world, but he was beautiful.
I used my experiences with that first baby when I wrote the birth scene for Tabitha in my Heart of Hollyhill book, Orchard of Hope. I had her counting those little holes in the ceiling tiles. I had her loving the first sight of her baby. I did not use my next day’s experiences. Again things have changed since my son was born. Then they didn’t let new mamas get right up and take showers or walk out of the hospital to go home the way they do now. You stayed five days. And the nurse gave me a sponge bath. That was an experience. I was embarrassed when she kept scrubbing my feet and I realized I had gone barefoot around the house the day before. I had been too scared about the upcoming birth to think about washing my feet which I would have normally done before I went to bed. She was a kind, middle-aged nurse assistant, maybe the one who had wandered into my room the night before, and she didn’t say a word about my dirty feet. But I couldn’t help thinking how those feet must have looked in the delivery room as I gave birth. Maybe they had sheets wrapped around them. Anyway, you can bet when it came time to go to the hospital for the birth of my second child, I made sure my feet were clean.
But dirty feet or not, I was happy to be a mama. What a blessing and a joy. So happy birthday to my son and happy first mama day to me.
Thanks for reading.
P.S. Lots of e-book sales going on with my books. Angel Sister is only 79 cents on Amazon and 99 cents on other sites. The other Rosey Corner books, Small Town Girl and Love Comes Home are on e-book sale too for $2.99 and $3.99 or $3.03. You can get the whole series on your e-reader for less than some fast food meals. These Healing Hills is still $1.99 for a scant few more days. The sale on Angel Sister will last a little longer, but the other prices are going to be gone very soon.
Comments 9
Happy First Mother’s Day to you and Happy Birthday to your son!!!
Our two older are in their 50’s so I remember the days of not knowing and the aloneness feeling. The youngest just turned 41 and not a whole lot had changed in the birthing experience except I could choose to know the sex (I chose not to—i like the element of surprise) and husbands could come in the delivery room (mine chose not to even though he was a doctor—perhaps he knew too much). My first was 2 months premature and no one would tell me anything. The nurse came in and told the lady next to me what a beautiful baby she had—me nothing until 3 hours later when my doctor came in and told me I had a healthy 3 lb 14 oz baby. Those were 3 agonizing hours!!! I didn’t ask boy or girl until I was when wheeled past the nursery and asked. Only then did I learn I had a baby boy. My only thought till then was my baby is alive!!! I was 21. This was June 4, 1962. I stayed in the hospital 10 days, he stayed 5 weeks. What an experience!!!
Author
Wow, that had to be hard, Karen. I’m surprised your husband didn’t demand more information for you. Maybe that he didn’t made you even more nervous since you knew the baby was so early. That nurse was very unfeeling, but then perhaps she though you already knew about your baby. I did see all my babies right away before I left the delivery room. Didn’t get to hold them but did see them and know they were healthy if the way they were crying was any indication. Things had changed a lot before my youngest was born eight years after the first boy. I don’t know if my husband could have come in the delivery room them or not. He didn’t. By the second child not quite two years after the first, I was never alone in the labor room, but I was at a different hospital.
I’m glad all went well for your early baby and your others too.
We were both in college and he probably was just as scared and unknowledgeable as I. When our preemie was born I was completely out and that’s why I didn’t know how the baby was. Since I had been in labor from Saturday evening until Monday morning my husband was sent home to get some sleep since he had been up the whole time. This was the the time when visiting hours were strictly adhered to which included husband’s. At least at this hospital. Glad things have changed.
What a beautiful story. . . and you are in it! Thank you for sharing the thrilling moments, the scary moments, the deep and abiding love of the birth of your first born. Your voice comes through in all your stories, sometimes in a subtle manner and sometimes loud and clear.
I am so enjoying River to Redemption and the engaging characters you created around your historical character, Louis. You have the ability to put the reader in the story. I am so thankful my sister shared Angel Sister with me (she ended up with two copies) a few years ago. I am a devoted fan. Your writing nourishes my soul.
Author
Thanks, Rebecca. Glad you liked reading my mama story. Glad your sister shared Angel Sister with you too. I appreciate you reading my books and do hope you will like the way River to Redemption plays out. It was fun dropping my imagined characters down into a real town and a real event.
Happy first mama day, Ann! We share nearly identical experiences as first time mamas , although I had just turned 18 when I had my first…also a boy. Nothing compares to that love at first sight experience when they place the baby in your arms. My second baby delivery was quite different however. The doctor didn’t think I was in serious labor, so he sent me home. My daughter had other plans, however and made a very speedy delivery at home! Very scary, but very special.
I love the way you use your personal experiences in your stories. That’s why you can pull your readers into the story so well. You have a gift of visualization that makes us experience what the character is feeling.
I’m almost finished with Adria’s story. I was up very late, reading last night. I was torn between wanting to see how it all turns out, and not wanting it to end. The latter won, so I’ll finish it tonight, after my movie date with 5 of my grandsons. It’s a marvelous book…one of your best!
Have a blessed day, Ann.
Author
What fun to go to the movies with 5 grandsons! The Incredibles? I took a couple of my grandkids to see it last week. It was fun. Silly but fun.
I’m glad my daughter didn’t decide to have a birth like yours, Lavon. I’m guessing that had you and your husband both stressing out. But glad it went well. People used to have babies at home all the time without doctors around. They did have granny midwives and family.
And it is love at first sight, but then it’s been love way before first sight as you carried those babies.
Glad you’re enjoying River to Redemption.
I love the way you write that makes visualization so easy. I had a similar experience with my daughter. They thought it would be a while and pretty much ignored me. As time went on I kept telling them something was changing. They just thought I was a nervous Nelly. When I finally convinced them to check me , there was a mad dash to get me to the delivery room. My daughter was born as the doctor flew through the doors! Memories!😊
Author
Glad all went well with that, Darlene. I was such an innocent, I might have just had that baby without ringing for the nurses. Sounds as if you know what was going on, even if everybody else didn’t! They should listen to the mama, nervous Nellie or not. I was definitely a Nervous Nellie.