Back in December I posted a piece called “What’s in a Name?” I was trying to decide on the names of the main characters in my work in progress. I did pick the female character’s name. I’ve changed the guy’s name four times now and I think I’m changing it again. Back on that post, I asked you how you liked my favored character name, Piper Jayne. I appreciated every comment, but Sandi went a step farther and shared her own piece “What’s in a Name?” It was fun to read, and with her permission, I’m sharing it with you. So welcome to One Writer’s Journal, Sandi, and thanks for your thoughts on what’s in a name.
What’s in a Name?
By Sandi Ansell
Anyone who has children has labored over the right name to give their unborn child. Books are written exclusively on the subject. Families have been torn apart because they have refused to pass on a name that has been in the family for generations. Young people, nowadays, seem to invent names that go way beyond the norm and are impossible to spell. A simple name like “Melissa,” can be turned into Malisa, Malicia, MeLyssa, just to name a few variations. And, all for what? So the kid can be called “Missy.”
My given name is “Sandra.” I never thought of myself as “Sandra.” It was a name that belonged to someone else. My mother only used it at those times when she was angry…very, very angry because I had done something she thought was very, very bad. It was a name that belonged to someone who was sick–when the nurse called me into the doctor’s office. It was a name that belonged to someone on formal occasions such as my graduation from high school and college. And, it was the name of the woman who bore my three children–despite my pleas for those in attendance to call me “Sandi.” It just seemed as though the pain would be less if we were on a less formal name basis. Now, Sandi, she is a fun loving warm person with a lot of personality. Sandra just sits there most of the time waiting to be called upon when the bank makes a mistake or the telephone company has overcharged us once again.
Can names really affect us that much? I tried very hard with my own children–and I have three–to use their names in a manner that wouldn’t allow for disparagy. But, I found that when I was really, really ticked at them for something, I called them by their first and last names and even though I had given them names that I loved, I also gave them…nicknames.
My oldest son’s name is Jonathan, but I called him Jon, most of the time. Why do we do that to children–give them a name and then call them something else? I knew better, having wrestled with that Sandra person all of my life. Anyway, Jon was an ornery little guy. And often, in exasperation, I would look at him and say “oh Jon.” He has an older sister–Melinda–whom call “Mindi.” One day I had to take Mindi to dance class–she was close to four at the time and Jon was nearing the age of two. I was pregnant with Jeffrey–who we then called Jeff or Moose–he weighed almost ten pounds at birth. Anyway, Jon and I were sitting in the small room outside Mindi’s dance class when a woman came through the door carrying a large package. The spring on the door was broken and because her hands were full, she allowed the door to slam, which it did with a loud bang. Jon jumped out of his seat and exclaimed loudly “oh Jon.” It was then I realized that the child thought his name was a declaration of annoyance.
I have seven siblings. When we get together, we sound like a bunch of hillbillies who have been at the moonshine. Shouts of “Hey Tats, whatcha been been doing lately?” “Tug?” “Where’s Willy Hen?” “Anybody know when Paulyott will be here?” Not to mention, Pokey, T-Dale, Hoopt and James Lee, which oddly enough is his real name, but used only when he’s being teased. I might add that these are highly successful people, ranging from policemen, government employees, salesmen/women and college graduates. And, where did these nicknames come from–adults like our parents and relatives…who themselves were subject to nicknames such as “Nellie” for Thelma, “Ted” for Chester and “Grace” for Mary.
So, where will it end? I suppose it won’t. Recently, I received a late night phone call from a friend who was going into the hospital for a planned c-section the next morning. She couldn’t decide on a name. Should it be…Lauren, McKenzie, Marissa or Elizabeth. After much debate, she was named Lauren. They call her “Bug.” So I ask you, what is in a name…actually, nothing.
Thanks, Sandi, for sharing your thoughts about what’s in a name. My folks named me such a little name, I couldn’t be nicknamed. Well, I take that back. I have some dear friends who sometimes call me Annie B. But I think Ann will do. 🙂
So how about you? Have a nickname? If so, do you like it? Did you nickname your kids?
Comments 21
One of my favorite nicknames is EmShan. The name derives from the first syllable of my first name and the first two syllables of my last name. It was given to me by a dear friend at the end of my freshman year at Cedarville. It’s hard to believe that was 12 years ago.😊 💜 Psalm 47💜
Author
Nicknames given by those who love us can make us feel even more loved, Emily. I’m trying to come up with some nicknames in the story I’m writing now. I’ve gone back to the mountains for another Frontier Nursing Story and they loved giving the nurses and helpers nicknames.
Thelma Gail
I was named Thelma for my mother’s older sister. There were eleven children in her family and by the time my mother came along the older girls helped take care of the babies. Seems my Aunt Thelma was to help with mother. She must have be a special sister because mother remembers the times she took care of her. Thelma died at the age of sixteen after having a bad sore throat. She probably had strep.
In my younger days I hated my name, but as I grew older I realized what a special name it was for my mother.
I only hear that name now when I see a doctor for the first time since I have always gone by my second name.
Oh I wish I could have known my Aunt Thelma. She must have been a very loving and caring young lady.
Author
What a sweet and sad story to have behind your name, Gail. Thelma isn’t a name you hear that often any more, but your mother was giving you a gift of her love and her love for her sister when she named you. I think sometimes in large families there are siblings that just make a tighter bond. Your Aunt Thelma probably enjoyed getting to “mother” your mother.
I was given the nickname at church by a faithful Christian. The nickname was Penelope which means bobbin or weaver. This is very odd, because I love to crochet & do all kinds of crafts.
Author
That’s interesting, Betty. Sounds as if that person who nicknamed you Penelope had a sense of the kind of person you were. I enjoy finding out the meaning of names when I’m trying to come up with names for my characters.
Sandi’s article is very good. My nickname was Tatsy because I couldn’t say Nancy. My grandfather called me that all his life and when someone calls me “Tatsy” its like my wonderful grandfather is back. I love nicknames that are said in “love”.
Author
That’s a sweet way to put it, Nancy. Nicknames said in “love.” For sure, you felt your grandfather’s love when he called you Tatsy. A love you remember.
My nickname given to me by my grandpa was Frannie! My family calls me that still today, but only one good friend calls me that. Everyone else from high school friends to good friends today call me Fran. I secretly love Frannie, mainly because of my grandpa.
Author
Love that, Frannie. I named my character in These Healing Hills Francine and shortened it to Fran as a nickname. Maybe I should have gone with Frannie. I enjoy hearing how people get their names. And nicknames too.
April really can’t be shortened so I’m April to most, but I have been called Apple before. When a toddler tries to say my name the “r” is hard to say so a lot of them naturally turn it into Apple. I have been around many toddlers too, I come from a large family and I was a two year old daycare teacher for 12 years so I have been called Apple quite a few times.
My brother is Johnathan, but his first day of kindergarten he realized John was easier to write. My sister is Meagan, I call her Meag or Me Again, because she looks so much like me, but most people call her Meagan.
Author
Thanks for sharing about your family names, April. I would have never thought about Apple being a nickname for you, but I can imagine the young ones saying Apple instead of April. Your brother leaned to conserve energy early. Five letters less to write. 🙂 The Me Again is cute too. Twins born a few years apart, right?
Yes. Meagan is 4 years younger than I am, but when we were younger everyone thought we were twins.
Lucy is my nickname. My mom had to stay in bed six months to have me and because she had three other children she needed help. My granny and aunt filled that role and therefore I was named Lelia (granny) Mae (aunt). Granny was nicknamed Lucy so I was called Little Lucy. Well it stuck.
Author
That’s a lovely story of how you got your name, Lucy. I wouldn’t have thought about Lucy being a nickname for Lelia. But then I’ve never understood Peggy as a nickname for Margaret either. Whatever works, I suppose. Your mother and you too were luck to have your grandmother and aunt to help get you here. Lelia Mae is a pretty name on top of that.
I’ve never had a nickname. But I gave a nickname to my special aunt. Her name was Shirley Ann. I was the first of the nieces and nephews to show up, and the adults tried to teach me to say Aunt Shirley Ann. That was a mouthful for a toddler, so it came out as “Hanny”. She remained Hanny the rest of her life…even to those not in the immediate family. She’s been gone nearly 4 years, but she’ll always be remembered as “My Hanny”.
Author
That’s a sweet story, Lavon. I’m sure your aunt, Hanny, loved hearing you say her name. I know a lady something like that. She’s not my aunt, but I call her Aunt Joycie anyway. She’s a nice lady who doesn’t mind being Joycie to all she meets instead of Joyce.
I never had a nickname, but my daughter ended up with bird. As an infant she always had her mouth open like a baby bird waiting for mama bird to feed her something. She was a tiny little thing, but always hungry. My son ended up with Snook as in short for Snookums. I’m not sure why his father gave him that name. My mother eventually started calling him Little John and his father Big John.
Author
You could have been Nan or Nannie, Nancy, but you may be glad nobody came up with those nicknames. I like the story of why you called your daughter Bird. Bird and Snook. You can some interesting names to call out for sure. Of course, I let one of the characters call my little girl character in the Rosey Corner books Birdie. But only he could get away with calling her that. That’s how nicknames can be sometimes. Only used by one person.
This was fun to read. I was named after one of my great-grandmothers. She was called Maggie all her life, and I learned that she hated that! She told me never to let anyone call me Maggie. When I was little, my parents tried out all the nicknames, and none of them fit, so I was always Margaret Ann. When I was in high school, a friend’s dad at church tried to call me Maggie, and I told him my great-grandmother’s admonition. To him, “Maggie” was a term of endearment 🙂
Author
Margaret Ann is a nice name combination. I had an aunt named Margaret. I know her name wasn’t Margaret Ann, but I can’t remember her second name right now. But my sister came to my rescue and said Margaret Lee. We never called her Maggie. Always Margaret. My mother on the other hand was named Olga Elizabeth and was called Jane. Go figure.