“Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.” ~Sam Levenson
Seeing my granddaughter get married in a beautiful ceremony last weekend has me thinking how weddings have changed over the years. Weddings today can be very elaborate events with brides in beautiful gowns, grooms in suits or tuxedos, attendants dressed in fancy gowns and suits as well, flowers strewn about to make the venue a place of celebration and on and on. My granddaughter and her mom spent nearly a year preparing for her wedding ceremony. It was the wedding of her dreams.
By Fd5851 – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=71223786
But in the past, the average person didn’t always have those kind of weddings. Years ago when my grandparents married, the couple generally went to a preacher’s house and said their vows. We had a preacher here in our county who married hundreds of couples in his parlor. As a result, his home, the Reverend Moore House, is on the National Register of Historic Places. Brother Moore performed 928 marriages, 1,400 funerals, and over 1,000 baptisms.
It’s those marriages I’ve been thinking about since my granddaughter’s wedding. There weren’t fancy dresses although I’m sure many brides dressed in their best when they headed to the preacher’s house to marry. Perhaps they even had a corsage or a bunch of flowers to carry. But the ceremony was quick and simple and they were married for better or worse, richer or poorer, until death parted them.
My parents got married at a preacher’s house. Not Brother Moore’s, but a different preacher. She and Dad did dress up for the occasion. You can see in the picture taken after they married but while still in at the preacher’s house, Dad even has a jaunty hanky in his suit pocket and a tie. The dad I remember never liked getting dressed up and especially didn’t like those ties, but for his wedding day he pulled out all stops. They were married on May 28, 1939 right after my mother graduated from high school. Mom’s sister and her fellow at the time and Dad’s sister went with them to provide the necessary witnesses.
When my husband and I married fifty some years ago, we had the ceremony at the small country church his family attended and that we still attend today. My sister was my bridesmaid and my husband’s friend from college was his best man. My mom did get me a new dress and I had a wedding bouquet and corsage and Darrell had a boutonniere. My friend played the wedding march, but as best I remember, she warned me it was a difficult piece and she did hit a clunker or two. The preacher seemed nervous while doing the ceremony and called Darrell by his sister’s name when he asked if I would take this man to be my lawfully wedded husband. I said I do anyway, so it’s been a long time joke that I married Darrell’s sister instead of him. We didn’t have a wedding photographer, but somebody snapped a couple of pictures to commemorate the occasion. My new mother-in-law did make cookies and invited everyone to her house not far from the church after the wedding, but we didn’t have a fancy cake. All in all, it was a very simple affair.
Not so for my granddaughter or many of her contemporaries. Weddings are big social events these days. A time to spend hours celebrating the marriage with many of your friends and family in attendance. You have elaborate refreshments or in my granddaughter’s case, a buffet dinner, followed by the lovely cake and dancing. I doubt if Brother Moore would have been for that dancing back in the 1800’s when he was marrying couples. Baptists frowned on dancing in those days in spite of how the Bible says King David danced in front of the Ark of the Covenant when it was being carried to Jerusalem.
In my research for my current work in progress, I read a lot about debutantes and coming out parties in the 1930’s. In the process I came across some 1900’s wedding pictures. In those times, socially prominent brides from wealthy families did sometimes have fancy weddings with the beautiful dresses and attendants. But the average couple found a quicker and cheaper way to get married. That was still true for many of my contemporaries in the 1960’s although some of my high school friends did have lovely church weddings. But other young couples in a hurry to get married headed to Tennessee to find a preacher because they could get a license there without waiting three days as the rule was in Kentucky at that time. Maybe Kentucky lawmakers wanted to give you time to back out. Actually, they required a blood test until 1980 and it took several days for the test results to come back.
What kind of wedding did you have? A fancy dress? In a church? At a preacher’s house or at the courthouse by the judge? And how long ago?
As always, thanks for reading.
Comments 23
54 years ago in a country church. I have one Polaroid picture in a locket. A few friends and family. Til death do us part. The reception was at the church. We had cake, punch, mints and nuts. No honeymoon because we couldn’t afford it and we had a 3 room apartment that we loved. $35.00 a month. That was in 1965.
Author
Cake, punch, mints and nuts. All sounds good to me, Joy. Expectations were different then. But the “till death do us part” worked for many of us, didn’t it? We’re still sticking it out with our chosen spouses. We were young but we found a way to be happy.
We got married in the church that was a one room chapel in the country. I went there as a girl. By the time we got married there was an addition added, but still the same minister, Rev. Milton H. Lockwood and his wife Dolly Lockwood played the piano. My daughter threw the flowers down the isle in front of us as family watched on a hot day on July 6, 1981. His brother Vince was our best man and my friend Gail was my maid of honor. Afterwards, we had a Garden Party down the street from the church in my parents back yard. We sat under a big apple tree and kept plenty of cold soda and water on hand. Our cake was donated by the bakery where my husband worked, and we had cold-cuts because it was so hot. My Grandmother and my aunts and our family all attended the wedding. It was simple and comfortable and casual.
Author
It sounds just right, Carol. A Garden Party sound fun and sitting under an apple tree with a wedding cake conjures up some great images. Thanks for sharing.
I was married in the mid 1970’s and had a smallish wedding in our church and then a reception at the home of a friend afterward. My husband and I, who were both living on our own and working, had planned to pay for our own wedding expenses since my parents had paid for my college and graduate school expenses. However, my parents did decide to cover the cost of the wedding and reception since we had kept the expenses so reasonable. We were extremely grateful to begin our marriage without educational loans to repay and without debt from an expensive wedding.
Author
Sounds as though you had a great start, Suzanne. I only have to one daughter and she got married on a beach in Florida. The venue was beautiful and cheap. 🙂 Of course there was travel expense, but it was a truly beautiful wedding at sunrise or shortly after.
But I like a church wedding too and you and your husband were sensible and fortunate to want to start out without loans to worry about repaying.
My husband and I married at our little church in Ohio that we had attended all our lives. I knew him when we were just little kids in church and school and one Sunday when I was 9 he and his family came into church and as they walked down the isle my mom said she thought he was the boy I would marry. I laughed cause he was 4 years older than me. He graduated and we met at the county fair and he told me he leaving for service and would I write and wait for him. The rest is history we were married 55 years before he passed away! Still love and miss him!
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What a sweet story, Fran. I guess 13 seemed a lot older than you when you were 9, but sounds like your mother knew. I’m guessing you all exchanged some sweet letters while he was in the service. You had many good years together and truly could say you knew each other forever. Now he’s gone on ahead to wait for you in heaven.
Mine was 60 years ago. Yes, complete with wedding dress and bridesmaids, maid of honor. A church wedding with processional and recessional. Small reception afterwards in the church hall.
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I’m sure you were a beautiful bride, Birdie, and you made some lovely memories on that day. Cake, punch and some nuts and mints used to be the highlight at receptions in days gone by. And it was all good.
I was married in The First Methodist Church at Somerset, Ky. My Mom and Daddy were there along with my two sisters in law and my Aunt Louise. My witnesses were my brother Terry and his wife Lucy. After we were married we went to Mom and Daddy’s house and had cake. We will be married 50 years on May 31.
Author
Happy 50th anniversary, Linda. That’s wonderful. I love the stories of the simple weddings that meant so much. Your family was there to witness yours and you got to share a wedding cake with loved ones.
We were married 56 years ago in a very small Methodist church.
The pastor was a friend of my groom. There were just us, the pastor and two witnesses. I wore the best outfit I had, although not new and my husband wore a suit and tie. He does not like ties either!
Author
Sounds like a good wedding for you and one that has lasted, Nancy. That’s the most important thing. You got married and started living your lives together.
We got married at the preachers house, I did have a new suit and a corsage, my husband also had a new suit. His and my parents were the guests and our bridesmaid and best man. We had a small reception with cake and punch at my parents house. That was in 1955 and we were married 59 years and 8 months when he passed away. Proof that it works without all the fal-de-ral.
Author
You almost made 60 years, Donna, and yes the fal-de-ral might be fun, but it’s the love that counts. The preachers’ houses hosted many weddings in the past.
Dear Ann, I was married in 1954 in a Home Plate wedding. My husband was a Catcher for the New York Yankees and when they heard we were engaged to be married they wanted us to have a Home Plate wedding. I don’t know if they even do that anymore, I’ve never seen another one. We were both Episcopals at the time and a Priest wouldn’t marry us on the Ball Park. So we had to get a Baptist minister who had no problem with it. It felt like we were King and Queen for a day. After the wedding and before the ball game, they drove us around the park in a brand new convertible, waving to all. My husband hit a home run his first time at bat, and it was front page news! They had a Huge reception for us after and the Yankees footed the bill. What a way to start out!
Ohhh Carolyn, your wedding sounds supreme! What a cool way to begin life together!
I got married 42 yrs ago in a small Baptist church. My dress was new, but not very expensive…I found it on the prom dress clearance rack, but it was exactly what I wanted.
My daughter on the other hand, had a big wedding that looked like the one on Steel Magnolias, but didn’t cost much at all. We bought every pink silk flower that Hobby Lobby had, along with pink ribbons & tulle for decorations. She and her 4 bridesmaids had a day together making bouquets and flower arrangements. A good friend made the cake that was the prettiest I’ve ever seen…all hearts & towers and pink roses. Family members brought all kinds of food for the reception. (Nobody does pot luck like the Baptists!) It was all fit for a princess, but on a much much smaller budget.
It’s fun reading all these wedding stories. All you really need is love. 🙂
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Love your wedding story too, Lavon. Glad you found the perfect dress. My daughter didn’t buy one off the prom rack, but she did find a dress just like she wanted on a rack in a discount bridal store.
And your daughter’s wedding sounds great too. I like the pot luck. I go to a Baptist Church and I know about those Baptist pot lucks. My daughter-in-law made all the flowers for my granddaughter’s wedding. Her house looked like a flower shop for a while but she did a fabulous job on all the decorations and corsages, etc.
Wow! That was really different. I have never heard of a homeplate wedding. That was something to remember.
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I’ve got to say, Carolyn, that your marriage might top all of ours. A Home Plate Wedding for you and your Yankee catcher and then your new husband hits a home run. Guess that made it two home runs for him that day. 🙂 And the Yankees footing the bill had to make it even better. You parents were probably very happy to see you married on Home Plate. You were the queen bride of the day for sure. Thanks for sharing that. It makes a great wedding story.
We got married over 35 years ago in Mama and Daddys living room.My sister made my dress and we also made the bouquets.My husband wore a borrowed suit.My dad gave my best friend 35 dollars to buy a dress to stand up with me and my brother stood up with my husband in dress pants and a dress shirt.My cousin and his wife made my cake. The judge kept calling my husband Robert , instead of his name, which is James, like you, I said I do anyway. I tease him that if I ever fine Robert that in really married to him.
I loved my wedding and wouldn’t have traded it for a big to do.
Author
I hadn’t thought about wedding in your home, Lisa. That’s a good place to get married too. I made my sister’s wedding dress. She must have been crazy to let me. I was only seventeen and a wedding dress is a pretty important piece of clothing. It worked out and she looked lovely. I’m sure you did too, and I’m sure your best friend was thrilled to have $35 to buy a dress.
Funny that we both said I do to the wrong name. LOL.