Outtake – a scene or sequence filmed or recorded for a movie or program but not included in the final version.
With a deadline looming this weekend I’ve had to stick to business and edit, edit, edit. That’s because, as usual, I used too many words to tell my work in progress, now with an official title, An Appalachian Summer. (The picture is a view of an Appalachian summer day.) The story needs to be between 90,000 to 100,000 words, a nice length for a book. But sometimes you have to keep writing until you find the end no matter that pesky word count in the bottom of your screen. So I did, knowing while I was writing that for every word I wrote I’d have to find a word later to cut.
I ended up with 118,369 words. Sigh. But it’s not really all bad. When you’re writing that first draft you have to just get the story told and worry later about telling it better. I like the editing part of writing when I’m trying to make the words slide along and disappear as the story plays out in the reader’s imagination. For it to do that, I have to cut all those times when I maybe had my characters thinking about the same things too much. I have to get rid of awkward or too wordy scenes. I want to make sure I use the exact right words and eliminate some of my pet words that I use to keep my thoughts rolling in that first draft. I can take out passive verbs and a lot of thats.
While editing, I can find many ways to tighten my writing, but in the process of ridding a story of 18,000 plus words, I have to cut a little deeper at times and take out paragraphs I like but that aren’t really vital to the story. This time I did something I’ve never done this before and that is I saved a few of those paragraphs. Nothing I could ever use again for another story. Verbal outtakes instead of filmed ones. But since I needed to find some words for this post and I happened to have these extras on my cutting floor, my thrifty self said why not share them with you. Those film outtakes are all over the internet.
So here goes. A few of the paragraphs I cut from my work in progress.
“I prefer the blossom patches to beans but it’s good to have both.” She looked out over the hillside. “I’m hoping the flags will still be sporting blooms when Mrs. Breckinridge gets back from her trip. I hear she’s on the way home. She’ll be ready for some resting time, but mark my words, she’ll walk out to check on her chickens and geese before she takes any rest. She does love her critters.”
Mrs. Miller looked across the hill to where a cow and calf were grazing. “Names them all, you know. Like they’re family. Guess as how I’ve known some critters I might rather claim as family than some that were.”
~~
Ginger came away from her puppies to watch Piper off while the puppies let up a howl. They were growing fast and getting fuzzy cute. Rusty came down the hill to trot along with Piper toward the river. He didn’t always go with Piper, but occasionally he would trail along when no rabbits wiggled their ears at him.
~~
A handsome woman was only a stutter step removed from poor soul, she missed out in the looks department.
~~
“I’m surprised his folks haven’t already been down here insisting he come home.”
“They do want him to come home, don’t they?”
Dr. Jack looked as though her question surprised him. “No worry there. Children are these people’s riches. His folks just don’t have the means to make the trip down here to Hyden all that often and they knew Billy was in good hands with us.
~~
“Do they know he’s coming home?”
“I sent word someone would bring him. They’ll be glad to have him home to help out with chores. With his leg better, he’ll be able to pull his weight.”
“At six?”
“At six. Children aren’t just for decoration up here in the mountains. They have to do their part on these hardscrabble farms.”
~~
But a cow? Horses, yes, but they didn’t have to be milked. They looked at a person with eyes that showed intelligence. Cows? The ones Piper had seen looked as though they didn’t think of anything but chewing their cuds.
~~
That’s a few of them. So what did you think? Was I right to let those end up on my cutting floor?
Now I need to get back to finding those other 5,000 words I still need to chop out to end up on my cutting floor. As always, thanks for reading.
Comments 18
Wow, how do you choose? I wonder if I will remember when I read the book. This leaves me truly looking forward to reading what will be in the book. Love all your stories!
Author
That’s an interesting question, Robin. How do I choose? It’s sort of an instinctual thing. My inner ear decides which words don’t fit and them my editing eye can decide what seems to be written okay but isn’t really necessary to the story line. I do hope that’s what’s left will be the right words.
Thank you so much for reading my stories.
Wow… It would be hard for me to cut anything you write. Your words just roll so beautifully it leaves me wanting to read more! My goodness it is well written! I have to say great work on your edit because your writing is so wonderful, I have faith your edits are too! Keep up the great work… Bless you!
Author
Thanks so much for the kind words, Peggy. I do hope the new story will be one people can enjoy when it does finally make it’s way out to readers.
I liked all of the outtakes ! Looking forward to reading your new book . I love the title, it reminds me of the wonderful summers I spent on my grandparents farm .
Author
It is sort of a relaxing title, Nancy. I’m hoping readers will think if fits the story. I tried to write more romance into this one, but I’m not sure how successful I was. I’ll soon hear from my editor who will let me know. I don’t use critique partners the way many writers do. So nobody other than me and sometimes my agent if I’m concerned about something in the story has read the book before I send it in to my publishers. That’s different from the way many writers work, but we each have our own systems for getting stories out of our heads and out to readers.
Looking forward to reading what’s left after all those tidbits!
Author
Thanks, Ola. I’m looking forward to getting finished with the what’s left part. 🙂 I plan to take next week off and read a book or two for fun!
Not so sure since I don’t know what comes before or after. 😊 How difficult cutting must be for an author! I don’t envy you. 😳
Author
That was sort of a silly question I asked about whether you thought I was right to cut those word, because as you say, without the rest of the words, you couldn’t know. Actually, I don’t mind editing and tightening the writing because it’s easy to over write scenes when you’re trying to get the story down. For me, editing if it’s changes I want to make is easier than writing the first draft. Now when the edits are suggested by others, I still do them but for some reason, it’s not as easy then. I might have to switch from my thoughts of the story to how the editor is seeing the story. So far in my books, I’ve never had to do major editing to make a story suit.
I can’t wait to read the parts you didn’t edit out. It will be fun to try to fit these bits back in when I read it. 😉
Author
I think that might be hard to do, Lavon. I’m not sure even I could do it on all of them. But I did like that line about a handsome woman.
If this is what gets cut out, I am surely looking forward to what stayed!!!
Author
I’m hoping readers will like the words I kept, Lisa. I liked these words too, but I just had too many of them.
I will surly love to read this book, just the out takes peaks my interest. Like all the rest of your books it will most certainly be a winner.
Author
Thanks, Donna. I’m glad you think the story will be one you’ll enjoy reading. I’m still cutting words right now and then it has to go through the publisher’s edits. So it will be a while. Right now all we have is that title and my work in progress. 🙂
To cut words and even paragraphs from your writing I’m sure is necessary or all books might be as big as WAR AND PEACE or GONE WITH THE WIND or maybe a Dictionary and there wouldn’t be room in our homes or the libraries to hold them all. Plus holding while reading would be awkward. But I’m sorry that authors have to go through that for when writing they thought those words were necessary. 😊
Author
Not a problem for me, Karen. I like the impetus to tighten my writing. Makes for better reading in the final product. But it’s been fun reading all your comments.